Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
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after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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