Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Randomize