i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
