You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
