what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
