the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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