i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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