none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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