i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
