dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
