You smell like a Billy Joel song
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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