How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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