Cold hands, warm shart.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
