Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
