She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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