handjob tips. give me some.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
