omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
