I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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