come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
