haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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