listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Randomize
