she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My ATM looks so different sober.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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