Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Randomize
