Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
They took my balls.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
