Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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