so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
