At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
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