Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize