Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
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i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
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The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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