I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
