i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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