he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
