Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
