i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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