You made me cry and you don't even care
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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