I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
