Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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