pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
