She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize