we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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