she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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