I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Dear god my vagina.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize