his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize