My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
cat food counts as protein by the way
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
