I must be too annoying 4 u.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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