one two three fourrrrnication!
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
