I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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