Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
