I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize