Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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