1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Randomize