She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
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