Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
