Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
