Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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