The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
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He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
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I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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