a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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