My cat gives me a boner
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
