Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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