i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
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You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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