I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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