I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
