I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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