Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
