He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
